Self Journey and . . . You

Coming to the tremendously, truly beautiful uncomfortable in my own skin

Racing toward the terrifying, self-denying truth all in order to begin again

Watering an arid wasteland called ‘soul’ to now leave behind what has been

Altering consciousness in opening to the cosmos within your universal sheen

Following you where you’ve been and are and ever will be in eternity foreseen

Crying to be what self has always meant to be in me, far from trouble, so serene

Holding onto the dream of you holding me holding you so close in golden mean

So be bold to take hold against the cold of six-fold winter to remold the Soul . . .

And shall I be there?

Monday Musings: An Adventure in Anthropology

This poignant question from Alden Tan of Little Buddha seems particularly appropriate at this juncture in my life:

A lot of people go through the motions in life, not doing what they love. They end up constantly looking back, asking themselves, “What if?” Whether people support you or not, do you really want to look back in regret one day down the line? To not know what could have happened if you tried to do what you really wanted to do?

I have decided to further my education, specifically working toward my second Master of Arts degree, this go-round in Theological and Cultural Anthropology. Now, this might at first sound both heady and boring, but it’s really an exciting adventure. Anthropology is simply the holistic study of people, and as such incorporates many other disciplines, like: History, Archeology, Biology, Sociology, Psychology, and the Cultural Areas of Art, Literature, and Music. So anthropology is actually very fascinating because you’re getting to know group of people rather intimately! Here you Cross the threshold of mere academics into deep knowledge and understanding … which is always beneficial!

Really, this came as quite a surprise to me. I’d always heard of anthropology, of course, and vaguely knew what it was about, but never imagined that this has really been my passion all along. Last year, for example, I was foolhardy and pretentious enough to write and publish a book entitled, On Being Human: A Multidisciplinary Approach. After analysing and pondering the final product, I was very disappointed and concluded at the time that it had been an impossible project to begin with … one I should never have tackled. But lo and behold, I’ve now understand that what I was trying to do (albeit in a much too vague and general way) was really an anthropological venture, or project!

Ah, then there is no need to be ashamed. Point in fact, there are many others like me in the world, who are pursuing many of the same questions, and they’re doing it in a holistic, multidisciplinary way! And I could not be more pleased, so I am going to be entering the Theological and Cultural Anthropology program at Easter University (in Pennsylvania) with which, thankfully, I can take online classes. So this will be a challenging quest, yet surely quite rewarding, too. Most folks I’ve shared this with have been quite happy for me (thankfully), except most of my immediate family. (Tragically, this is not at all surprising, as most family members have been quite negative, pessimistic and discouraging throughout my life … never encouraging!)

So, we shall see where this all ends up, but at least I won’t be looking back in old age, asking myself, “what if?” Or “why didn’t I . . . ?” And who knows (but God alone) what doors this may open? Perhaps even a kind of new life! Obviously, and despite the silence and/or discouragement of family, I am thrilled!

My Own Path

When I was a child so wild and free to be most wholly and totally me

You came to see what I might be on this voyage upon this sea of life

And then you issued a decree of clemency for my ongoing pilgrimage 

But I was left bereft of soul salvation that I would seek meek and mild

As your child very wild and free to be whatever I really wanted to be

And so this is the course I struck ~ my own path to climb the mountain

To drink from your fountain of youth and never again to die to life…. 

Apothegms

Life is a series of lessons given in which success is measured by what is learned

And learning to love is of all the most crucial lesson given to the yearning heart

Which learns its powerful part within a crucible of affectionate understanding

Without demanding the compliance of other souls to all its whims and wishes

Because no one can change the mind of another without binding her spirit first

And that is imprisonment with dictatorial demands rather than honest change

So that you never win friendship by ripping the fabric of another’s personhood

And this is an important life lesson too that you naturally grew into over time

Along with so many others not taught to you by mother, father, brother, sister

Just lessons learned through oft-times painful experience along the road of life

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Uncover Covered Secrets … And Dance!

Uncover covered secrets like opening closet doors

For no more is there fear in being near evermore

To truth unfurled like an unsullied flag of beauty

In now unhidden glory adorning your true nature

In nurture of gladness bringing peace to the soul

Filling the hole dug before by shameful hypocrisy

To now be free to be who and what you really are

And freely dance so freely in newly won freedom

Gained even in this world of shackles and chains

Unmasked

When you unmask yourself to bask in the sun
And drink the flask of light with none to fight,
Then you’ll be free to be for the world to see
Against black backdrop what you are so far,
And you will be a shining star, none to mar,
With no lack of radiance or wrack of shame
Because you’ve melted into the better soul ~
It’s your very own to own as your very own ~
Here where have been sown seeds of eternity
In confraternity with the fervency of vitality,
You will persist even in the midst of turmoil
On the soil of earth while looking heavenward
To realms unknown along a path not shown,
Taken by the better part of a now-pure heart,
Never to be masked again or subject to vanity
And the insanity of empty pride in stride
With ways of fools in days of wandering,
Forever squandering precious life of glory
That was meant for the story of redemption
By the preemption of the court of the Lord

Such Beauty in the Dangerous Beautiful

Look up at the moon and soon you will be enthralled by her beauty,
But then imagine dying as you’re lying on her bed of cold rock . . .
Gaze upon the awesome magnificence of the lion at a safe distance,
But then consider being mauled in your insistence to draw near . . .
Mountains are majestic but also so often dangerously undomestic;
Ah! What is beautiful can be so bountiful and so very inspirational,
But dangerous to the venturous, killing those willing to draw near
To what they hold dear in that same beauty that demands no duty
To die for what they can eye safely from afar, like a star in the sky;
Some beauty is mostly ghostly and simply cannot be held closely
But only admired in an almost lonely manner like what is holy . . .
Be wise in what your eyes see and the sudden rise in your heart
To claim some prize that was never meant to be possessed by you;
Admiration and appreciation does not demand your possession;
Be discerning and ever learning to calm the burning in your heart


Note: Originally penned on December 1, 2016, now being republished due to some renewed interest as well as for the enjoyment of new reader-followers. Blessings to one and all!

Time to Heal

Now, you are more than tired and weary inside;
You can’t take life in stride or abide another day,
But you can’t stay where you are . . . not this way,
But you can’t seem to change your position either
And so your condition remains all the same
While life keeps burning you with its flame;
You feel broken and no token sympathy can help;
Lying down at night sometimes you feel like dying;
You need time to heal in peace, and quiet serenity;
Yes, without any pressure, you need time to heal
Time to heal . . .

Moving Past My Past

Shall my shame be the game we’ll continue to play?
Will you, my loved ones, make display of my faults?
As one day passes into another, night after night
Will this same light shine on all of my inadequacies?
While I churn and burn inside to take a turn in life,
Will I have the chance to dance a brand new dance?
Or will I be stuck in mediocrity under sovereignty
Of another who has managed to achieve much more?
I say, ‘no!’ I will overcome with some help from One,
And the sun will shine brighter and lighter on me!
I’ll not be plowed under or cut asunder from success
Because of past failures but reach for what truly lasts!
My fate isn’t sealed and I’ll not take the bait of despair
But make the necessary repairs and move on forward!